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Friday, March 5, 2010


Hello peoples, its been a while abi? Men time runs like x2 in these zones, its like i blinked and the week is over, the days seem blurred into one huge mass. So much and yet so little has happened, you get? Its been like this:

School: Lectures are starting to wind up, last lecture is on the 25th of March. Been reading and yet i havent made a dent in my workload. As for my thesis, i dont even want to go there, since my last meeting with my supervisor like 3 weeks ago, i havent touched the thing. I plan to get into it tomorrow (have said this like a million times already) I just dont feel the pull to read and its bad, being on a scholarship means i have to work extra hard to prove to the scholarship board that they made the right decision and that i should be here. Plus i'm considering a PhD studentship so i need to get a distinction.

Money: I'm so broke!!! As in really really, maybe i havent made some wise spending choices in the past, scratch that, i havent made some wise spending choices and i know it. I wish i could be more disciplined as far as money is concerned but as much as i have tried in the past i just cant. Its not just about shopping (which i'm guilty of) but also there are times i just dont value money as i should. Like when i go "oh its just a pound" but when you do that like 10 times it isnt just a pound anymore, you get? So i have sent several SOSs home and i hope i get a bailout soon, if not.....*shudders* "FB yardsale"!!!

Love: Ah the tricky one! My love life has been non existent going on 2 years now, and for lack of a better word i feel "frisky" Pull ur minds out of the gutter people! I miss the intimacy of a hug, a cuddle, a shared smile heavy with meaning, a kiss! I miss having someone thats the one i can tell everything to, the one i want to tell everything to. Ok sappy moment over! My ex and i still talk, fight over stupid things mostly and i know we should be giving ourselves time to let go but we're not so...that's that. Plus i just found out that this nice guy i met just before i left, who seemed almost perfect, like if i had a list (which i dont) he ticked off almost every box, has a girlfriend. I dont know why i'm so bummed by this fact, i didnt expect him to hold out a year for me, we only saw once and spoke on the phone like 5 times but i feel so let down. Is it wrong that i'm secretly wishing he breaks up with this girl just as soon as i get back??? I'm a bad bad person right? She's probably just perfect for him . I mean they work together(i wouldnt want that though, on the up side it would be nice exchanging hot and heavy winks at work) they both went to Ivy League schools and thats all i know. So i'm sad! God, you know you have to give me a "perfect man" (read as perfect for Neo) so that i wont think of all the ones that got away. Amen.

Friends: My friends are awesome, they are supportive, they are they and they (seem to) love me flaws and all, so i'm grateful for friends, old and new. I'm also grateful for my blogsville friends. You guys sincerely have no idea how much it means to me, the fact that you take out the time to read my stuff and drop me a line or two. Thank you all so much

Family: I love my crazy dysfunctional family all twenty something of them brothers and sisters i have (yep, Dad is a chief! lol!) They annoy the crap out of me, they neglect me sometimes but one thing i know is that they all proud of me and that means so much to me. I'm grateful for each and every one of them.

Spirituality: I'm finding time to grow into the woman God wants me to be, it hasnt been easy but i'm reconnecting with my faith again and building myself up again. I spend more time in quiet reflection into the word and its like i see the same things in a different way. I'm a stronger person for it and knowing that just makes me smile. In this crazy world all we truly have is our faith.

So people thats it, my life as it is summed up in one page. Please excuse all typos, no time to edit. I have sworn off sleep till i get these 2 chapters staring at me off my plate.

Have a fab weekend.