I SHOULD HAVE SAID BOMB ON THE AIRPLANE

It was like any other Monday morning at work, I was trying to fill the obligatory two hours of faffing before I actually began work of any sort. That was when my consort, (hereafter referred to as Aki, to protect her identity) squealed that Aero Contractors was running a 5 day promo to celebrate their 50th anniversary (so why do airplanes still seem like a modern achievement if they had been around for that long?), 5 grand on all domestic routes. Being the typical Nigerian lover of all things awoof (freebies or well in this case giveaway!) I quickly proceeded to make a booking for a return ticket to PH (I live in Lagos btw) a booking that I managed to complete on Friday! That should have been the first sign that this promotional ticket did not feature in my destiny but the power of awoof propelled me on. On Friday I continued with my booking and then the second sign! After I had chosen my flight dates (to coincide with my nephew’s birthday weekend) I supplied my personal details and navigated to the payment page. I decided to pay via Interswitch using my ATM card and patiently waited for my confirmation email with my booking reference and so it began. The confirmation page simply refused to open and I had no booking reference. I didn’t begin to panic till I confirmed that my account had indeed been debited. Yes, I know it’s just 10 grand but seeing as I’m neither Aliko Dangote’s secret lovechild nor do I intend to discover the cure for cancer anytime soon, my 10 grand meant a lot to me (I could get a nice bag with that or some ASOS shoes that I could lock in my closet only bringing them out for the occasional worship session. PS: I LOVE BAGS AND SHOES)

My evil colleagues (the Cooperatives as I call them due to the occasional contribution funds for a sarnie and tea break) had begun to enjoy my moment of horror. I heard things such as “awoof dey run belle” “No free lunch in Freetown” Still I refused to despair and went into Operation recover my 10 grand!!!! I called every number on the Aero website including 7,000 till I realized that was just a promotional fare price, all to no avail. The 10 grand stealers were not picking their over 10 lines. I tried 0700 FLY AERO and got to listen to those horrible automated voices that seemed to enjoy the misery of ur waiting, the stupid baritone voice kept asking me to hold for the next available agent, and that my call was important to them, till I ran out of call credit. It was getting very expensive trying to retrieve my beloved 10 grand. I sent an email, all to no avail. Then on Friday a friend was coming into Lagos from Enugu and kindly helped me sort it out at MMA2.

I was so relieved, but as they say in Nollywood “THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING- WATCH OUT FOR PART 2 OF I SHOULD HAVE SAID “BOMB” ON THE AIRPLANE.” COMING SOON. GRAB YA COPY NOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!