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Thursday, July 9, 2009


Okay, I’ve managed to put this off for so long now but here it is, my first blog. This is going to be a completely self-centered rant about my life so if you were looking for an in-depth discussion on politics or philosophy you may as well save yourself the disappointment now. This here is everything I stand against, I hate self obsessed people but here I am ranting about my life. Well, at least I have a justification, because maybe if I don’t do this I'll just drop dead from pent up frustrations about all the things that are inside me struggling to find their way out, and then when I get to heaven’s gate I would meet St Paul (or is it Gabriel) and he would look so sad and say “Such a young girl, if only you’d discovered blogspot.” I am very sarcastic, that’s one other thing you might want to get used to, I think it’s an offshoot of the frustration. Sometimes I take stock of my 23 years( make that 24, a few months to go) on Planet Earth and I think ‘Hmn, not bad!’ Other times I sigh and wonder why the ‘bad girls’ are the ones who got ahead and I’m stuck in this life that is surely not my own.

Is it just me? Am I asking for too much? Am I too young to have a good job that I love, drive a car that I bought with my hard earned money and live in a nice flat? Okay I’ll answer that one myself, I possibly am, considering the fact that I just finished school this year and I’m currently a “corper” serving my nation. Still it doesn’t stop me wanting all of those things. I live with my sister and her family in a really nice estate and I get the whole ‘aren’t u lucky thing’. Thing is I don’t feel lucky, not all the time, there are times I wouldn’t mind living in a one room face-me-i-face-you in Ajegunle (ok Maybe not Aj) as long as it’s all mine.

My point is that I can’t wait to come into my own person, and get to that place where my next step does not depend on one person or the other. See, I can already hear all the advice you have for me cos I’ve said it to other people and sometimes even to my own self, the benefits of delayed gratification and all, if I have it all now there’s nothing to look forward to. I’m just sick and tired of living by someone else’s rules which I have to “as long as you’re under my roof” I just want to come into my own person, have a house I furnished by myself, picked out the colours . I want to lock up when I leave for work in the morning, stop off at the market on my way back home so I can pick up stuff for dinner, have friends over whenever I want, get to call the plumber cos there’s a leak in the kitchen or struggle to put on my ‘I better pass my neighbour generator’ I want o get a chance to do all of those things. I am not one of those girls that want to go from Mama’s house to Baby’s house if you catch my drift. I am not worried about the fact that I do not have a boyfriend(okay let me rephrase that) I am not worried about the fact that I do not have a husband nor am I engaged but I do occasionally worry that I do not have a boyfriend or that I will never find one that will love me in the way that I have been loved before and in a way still loved (that is a story for another day) I don’t think marriage is the logical next step after school and all that, I don’t think you get married because you feel it should come next or you’re getting too old, you get married because you meet someone that makes you want to get married and all the trappings that come with it. Waking up next to each other for the rest of your lives, how can I think of marriage when I’m still the grumpiest morning person I know, I have to meet someone that makes me look forward to morning every night as I sleep. Someone I can stand to kiss despite the morning breath and I had someone like that once upon a time (like I said story for another day)

So these are the things that frustrate me, I want my privacy, I want money, I want a boyfriend and yes in that order! When I think of more I’ll be back, like I said you could have saved urself the disappointment.


Dark Neo said...

You got the order wrong.... Get the money then the privacy then the boyfriend!

Neo said...

I catch ur drift dark neo, money can buy the privacy huh?

Sumptuous said...

This is brilliant, I love it. I totally have an insight into you (I think)

Neo said...

Ha but i caught u there cos even i dont have an insight into me....yet, work in progress! lol

Rene said...

lol@ 'i beta pass my neighbor' generator.
money, more money, privacy, boyfriend, more more money....nw dt a beta oda

Neo said...

Rene, i'm so lovin that order!

Eknoreda said...

Have I told you in recent times that you simply Rock??
My sentiments well laid out here dear!!!

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