Purging

I haven't been able to write anything meaning for a while now, i try and when i look at the words i just give up. Maybe it's some kind of blogger's blog but its even affected my fiction and the notes i take in class. I've never been that student that gets the teacher word for word so i try to reproduce what they have said in my own words but lately i find that the words have been hard to come by. It's been hell, like i've lost my voice again, only this time its a voice that matters much more than the voice that comes out of my mouth.

School is getting stressful, dont get me wrong i didn't come into this whole thing with an idea that doing a masters under a scholarship would be a walk in the park but its been harder than i thought. I'm struggling with one particular class that's so advanced. I mean there are people here that practiced tax law for 15 years before taking this class and there's me who did some tax research for a tax paper my boss presented and thought "hey this is interesting i should do international tax law" Sometimes i feel i'd have been better off studying latin than that class. I know i shouldn't hate a course or the way it's taught or anything cos it'll affect my mindset but i cant help it. The best i can do though is put in some extra work in that area.

Plus i've been looking for part time work and its been unproductive thus far, i mean a lawyer wanting to work as an office administrator or receptionist should be a breeze nes pas? not so! In fact no leads and i'm seriously getting tired. How the else am i supposed to know if staying back here after my degree is in the cards for me if i cant save up enough money to have that option? Besides even if i am going home at the end of the day, am i supposed to return like the broke prodigal son? Honestly i tire and i havent even started.

I just needed to release all the concerns i have, maybe if i let them out i'll feel better, maybe seeing them in words will put things in perspective. Which was why i needed this purging.