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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Purging

I haven't been able to write anything meaning for a while now, i try and when i look at the words i just give up. Maybe it's some kind of blogger's blog but its even affected my fiction and the notes i take in class. I've never been that student that gets the teacher word for word so i try to reproduce what they have said in my own words but lately i find that the words have been hard to come by. It's been hell, like i've lost my voice again, only this time its a voice that matters much more than the voice that comes out of my mouth.

School is getting stressful, dont get me wrong i didn't come into this whole thing with an idea that doing a masters under a scholarship would be a walk in the park but its been harder than i thought. I'm struggling with one particular class that's so advanced. I mean there are people here that practiced tax law for 15 years before taking this class and there's me who did some tax research for a tax paper my boss presented and thought "hey this is interesting i should do international tax law" Sometimes i feel i'd have been better off studying latin than that class. I know i shouldn't hate a course or the way it's taught or anything cos it'll affect my mindset but i cant help it. The best i can do though is put in some extra work in that area.

Plus i've been looking for part time work and its been unproductive thus far, i mean a lawyer wanting to work as an office administrator or receptionist should be a breeze nes pas? not so! In fact no leads and i'm seriously getting tired. How the else am i supposed to know if staying back here after my degree is in the cards for me if i cant save up enough money to have that option? Besides even if i am going home at the end of the day, am i supposed to return like the broke prodigal son? Honestly i tire and i havent even started.

I just needed to release all the concerns i have, maybe if i let them out i'll feel better, maybe seeing them in words will put things in perspective. Which was why i needed this purging.

5 comments:

muyiwa said...

Just keep on keeping on,Nothing good comes easy u know,Wish you good luck,cheers

blogoratti said...

All the best as you try to make sense of things...you'll do just fine. Stay strong!

Azazel said...

Just keep on pushingg... Perseverance is the key..
and if praying helps u get by, then pray..

histreasure said...

keep ur head up dear..i wrote my thesis on tax incentives(legal perspectives etal) and my eye see small shege(i no know who send me-lol)..so you can and will make it..in fact, u'l show dem the stuff you are made of,just be resilient and things will fall into place

Neo said...

thanks guys! Ur too much and yes i am in a better place today!
@histreasure, really? i shd come for tips o. I did tax in undergrad and twasnt dis bad o!