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Saturday, December 5, 2009

On my mind

Lately i've had a lot on my mind and today i made the desicion to stop worrying about the things i cannot change (such as other people) and change the things i can (me) Very few people understand me and even those who do, do not fully comprehend me. I like to think that i am not a complicated person, in fact i have convinced myself that i am as simple as a 5 year old's artwork and it's everyone else around me that can be likened to a Michelangelo painting, in other words my simplicity is a complexity in a world of complexity (if that makes any sense) This might end up being a bit of a rant (indulge me please)

I am this bubbly, class clown persona, the one that can mimic everyone else and make people laugh but a lot of people fail to realise that first and foremost that's not the person i am. I like to make people laugh but i am still the one that just wants to sit quietly sometimes and take in the world and those moments should not be shattered simply because you're wondering why my jester's cap is not on. I love silence and my solitude sometimes and in this crazy city the best i can get is those precious moments when i'm alone in my room. I miss Enugu (i went to law school there) The campus was huge with a lot of open spaces and trees and sometimes i would just take walks with my iPod in my ears and sing as loud as my voice would allow. It was such a release and i havent had one of those in ages.

I hate to be put in a box, i try not to put others in a box so the least i expect from others is the same. Do not friggin put me in a box. Just because i went to Unilag doesnt mean i should wear my knickers on my head and dance on table tops. Sheesh! Generalization is the worst form of ignorance i tell you and i cant stick it, i wont say i've been completely innocent of this but i make a conscious effort not to generalize.

I hate it when people think they know everything and have an opinion on everything, a suggestion for how everything should be done.

I hate it when people don't learn from their mistakes and live their lives in that vicious cycle and in seeming oblivion, I'm like "when are you going to wake up?" Don't you friggin recognize that this is the same track you've been on and it has only one destination. Short of living your life for you, i don't know what else i can do. If you want to dangle you finger over the self destruct button i choose not to be collateral damage.

So this is who i am, as my friend would say "U don see me finish, i no remain for house" No facades. Take it or facking leave it.

Wow, i feel so much better already!

10 comments:

musco said...

hmmmm .... is this a female version of me?

a lot of people 4gt there are 2 sides to us all.

nice blog!

Azazel said...

Hey hun I feel this post..
What city are u currently in?

exschoolnerd said...

i swear i could have written this post!!!! every single word...i can relate to every single thing.... this is so friggin weird..iv been wanting to put up a post about this....

My World said...

"My simplicity is a complexity in a world of complexity"..........Nice!

Neo said...

@musco, thanks jare, sometimes i just hate people..lol
@azazel, i'm in london
@ESN, really? been following ur blog for a while till u went MIA, good to have u back.
@MyWorld, thanks.

48 said...

"I hate it when people think they know everything and have an opinion on everything, a suggestion for how everything should be done"


i feel you on everything save for the above:) having an opinion about everything doesnt necessarily translate into knowing everything...and i especially love hearing other people's suggestions, they come in handy when you least expect. as long as people aren't trying to force their ways/methods onto you, hearing others' opinions and suggestions is critical to staying open to possibilities. OK i'm pretty sure i just officially landed into that category lol.

on finding some alone time, chei that's like the hardest thing ever; sometimes i just lock myself in my apt and spend like whole weekends at home or turn off my cellphone and find a little corner in my favorite bookstore *sigh* talk about bliss. i shud prolly stop typing now hehe. It is well,have a lovely week!

histreasure said...

Generalization is the worst form of ignorance i tell you and i cant stick it, i wont say i've been completely innocent of this but i make a conscious effort not to generalize.

Word!!

Neo said...

@ 48, i get ur point but i probably didnt articulate myself well there (it happens with a rant) basically i hate it when pple are bossy is what i meant...like "it's my way or the high way"

@HT, true!

Helene said...

Amen!! Nicely written! I feel the same way a lot of the time! My MIL is one of those people who whines and complains but does nothing to change it...stays on the same path without making any effort to improve herself. It really irritates me!

muyiwa said...

ummmm ok,i agree with many points here